There are two basic ways to see growth: one as a product, the other as a process. People have generally viewed personal growth as an external (外在的) result or a product that can easily be identified and measured．The worker who gets a rise, the student whose grades improve, the foreigner who learns a new language—all these examples of people who have measurable results to show for their efforts．

By contrast (对照) , the process of personal growth is much more difficult to determine, since it is a journey and not the specific signposts or landmarks along the way．The process is not the road itself, but the attitudes, feelings people have , and their caution or courage, as they meet with new experiences and unexpected difficulties．In this process, the journey never really ends；there are always new ways to experience the world, new ideas to try, new challenges to accept．

In order to grow, to travel new roads, people need to have a willingness to take risks, to face the unknown, and to accept the possibility that they may “fail” at first．How we see ourselves as we try a new way of being is necessary for our ability to grow．Do we see ourselves as quick and curious? If so, we tend to take more chances and be more open to unfamiliar experiences．Do we think we’re shy and indecisive? Then our sense of fear can cause us to hesitate, to move slowly, and we think we are slow to adapt change or that we’re not smart enough to deal with a new challenge．Then we are likely to take a more passive role or not try at all．

These feelings of insecurity (不安全) and self-doubt are both unavoidable and necessary if we are to change and grow．If we protect ourselves too much, then we stop growing．We become trapped inside a shell of our own making．

Do you get angry when your friends sing loudly? Or when your best friend does not wait for you after school? If you do, you need to control your feelings and stop getting angry so easily. Getting angry easily can make you lose friends. Gary Egeberg, an American high school teacher, wrote My Feelings are Just Like Wild Animals to help you control your feelings. It tells teens how to stay cool when bad things happen to them. The book says that getting angry only makes problems worse. It can not make them better. "Getting angry is not a natural way to act", the book says. It is just a bad habit, like smoking. The book says you can control your anger easily, and all you have to do is to tell yourself not to be angry. When a baby falls over, it cries only when people are watching it. Like a baby, you can only get angry if you are sure it is the right thing to do. The book gives many suggestions to help you if you get angry easily.

Here are the top three. 

①Keep a record. Every time you get angry, write down why you are angry. Look at it later and you will see you get angry too easily.

②Ask your friends to stop talking to you when you get angry. This will teach you not to be angry.

③Do something different. When you get angry, walk away from the problem and go somewhere else. Try to laugh!

Have you ever been sad because you failed in something? If so, please remember, for often, achieving what you expect is not the most important thing. Here is a story to tell you why.

One day, a little boy decided to dig a hole behind his house after watching a science program. As he was working, a couple of boys stopped by to watch. “What are you doing?” asked one of the visitors. “I want to dig a deep hole all the way through the earth!” the boy answered excitedly. The older boys began to laugh, telling him that it was impossible to do it. Then they left.

The little boy kept on digging and digging. Suddenly, a few small colorful stones caught his eyes. He collected them and put them into a glass jar patiently. Humming a song, he went on digging. The jar was full soon. The he talked to himself calmly and proudly, “ Maybe I can’t finish digging all the way through the earth, but look at what I have found in the process(过程) of digging!”

The boy’s goal was too difficult, but it did cause him to go on, in other words, to cause us to keep working!

Not every goal will be achieved. Not every job will end up with a success. Not every dream will come true. But when you can’t achieve your goal, maybe you can say, “Yes, but look what I’ve found along the way! There are so many wonderful things that have come into my life because I tried to do something!” It is in the digging that life is lived. It is the unexpected joy on the journey that really has a meaning.

 When we meet someone for the first time，we often would like to talk about ourselves．We just want to show the best to others．But why not listen? Sometimes，listening is better than talking．Then how to be a good listener? Here are a few suggestions：                                                                                              

◆Look at the speaker．It shows you are listening carefully．It's also a good way to

“talk” to your friend with your eyes．

   ◆Don't cut in．Give your friend enough time to say what she or he thinks．Don't stop your friend's words．Even if you want to say something, you should wait till your friend finishes．

   ◆Try to understand．When you are listening，try to catch her or his feelings and ideas．It helps you know your friend better．And your friend will feel better about you．

She or he may think you are the right person to talk with．

   ◆Show your ideas at the right time．“It's interesting．”“What happened next?”…These are useful when you are listening．And you can give advice when your friend asks for it．

   It's never too late to become a good listener．It can change your life and the lives of the people in your life．

Cindy, Jerry and Mary are giving their opinions about a good friend.

Cindy: I think a good friend should be honest(诚实的). That’s more important than any other thing and is where a good friendship starts. If a friend isn’t honest, he may lose his friends’ trust.

Jerry: I think a good friend has to be generous. Here “generous” doesn’t mean he has to give his friends his lunch money or his clothes. It means he should share(分享) his ideas and feelings with his friends. In fact, his friends can know him better in this way.

Mary: In my opinion a good friend should understand(理解) his friends. When there’s something wrong between him and his friends, he must put himself in his friends’ place and think more for his friends.

 When you were a little child, your parents made decisions about everything for you because you weren’t old enough to take care of yourself and make careful decisions. Finally, however, you grow up and become a teenager. You begin to have your own thoughts and opinions about life.

  As you change and grow into his new person who makes your own decisions, your parents may have a difficult time adjusting(调整). They aren’t used to the new you---- they only know you as a child.

  In most families, this adjustment can cause lots of arguments between teens and parents. You want to cover your walls with posters, but your parents don’t understand why you don’t like your wallpaper any more. Then you feel your parents don’t respect you and don’t allow you to do what you like, and your parents get angry because they disagree with your decisions. And some other things---- like the type of friends you have----can cause even bigger arguments, because your parents will always be ready to protect you and keep you safe, no matter how old you are.

  However, the good news is that there will be fewer arguments as your parents realize that you have grown up and should have your own ideas. Before you get on very well with each other again, communication between you and parents is very important.

There is an old Chinese saying, “If someone gives you a little drop of water, you should return a spring of water.”That means if someone helps you a bit, you should remember it and thank them gratefully(感激的）in return.

 We should live in a world of gratitude. We should prove it with actions, not just words. We thank people who hurt us, because they teach us important things. We thank people who give us up, because we learn how to be independent. We thank people who selfish(自私的），because we learn the importance of being kind. Of course, we should thank people who help us. We should thank people who teach us. We should thank people who care about us.

 We thank our parents. They work hard all the time in order to give their sons and daughters a better life. They cook meals for us, they do the chores for us, they always give us food and clothes, they teach us what is right and what is wrong.

 We thank our teachers who give us dreams. They teach us a lot of things but they ask for nothing from us. We are well-educated of them.

There are a lot of people that we should be grateful to in our life. We should find a way to thank them.

When people become good at doing things they like to do, they have found themselves.

 Many young people are doing things they do not like; many other young people are doing something that they are not good at. Also many do not think they are good at anything and do not know what they would like to do. None of them are happy.

 It is impossible to decide whether one likes something until he has tried it. Trying something new is important.

 Give each idea a fair chance. If you have decided to try out something new and also have decided how long you will stick to (坚持) it, you can make a fair decision.

 The most important thing is not the final goal(目标) but the work which makes you reach the goal. Almost everybody would like to be highly skilled at something but it calls for a great deal of time and work.

  Finding oneself means not only discovering what one is good at and what one likes; it also means discovering what one is not good at and what one does not like.

 So trying something but failing also has its good side. It tells you that you are not fit for that special aim(目标) and should not regard(把...看作) it as your goal.

    "A wise(聪明的)old owl lived in an oak. The more he saw, the less he spoke, the less he spoke, the more he heard. Why arenˈt we alike that wise old bird?"-Edward H. Richards.

   We all need to learn to listen well. Listening is a learned skill, the same as speaking in public. It just takes much longer to learn! Listening is a skill we should be practicing every day.

   Listening shows others that they are important. Itˈs a sign of respect(尊重). If someone listens to you carefully when you are talking, it shows that they are really interested in what you are saying.

   How do you practice listening? Here are some rules:

   Put down whateveris in your hands. Are you in the middle of writing something? Put down the pen and start to listen. Are you reading something? Close it so that it will be

impossible for you to look down and start reading again. Then put it down.

   Turn off your computer.The computer will distract(使分心)you from your job at hand-listening.

   Face the person you are speaking with.Facing the person you are speaking with will help you listen more carefully. It will also make the person feel that you find what he is saying important.

Mind your body language.Standing towards the speaker will show interest. Looking around the room shows you have no interest. Looking that speaker in the eye tells him that he is important.

   Listen completely.Do not start making comments(评论)after the first few words. Do not start thinking about your reply in your mind. Listen to the speaker carefully and try to understand what he is telling you.

One wife asked her husband when she was 25. Disappointedly(失望地), the husband answered，“ˈI missed a new job opportunity(机会).” When she was 35, the husband angrily told her that he had just missed the bus. At 45, the husband sadly said，“I missed the opportunity seeing my close relative（亲戚）before he died.” At 55, the husband said disappointingly，“I missed a good chance to retire.” At 65, the husband answered quickly，“I missed a dental appointment（约会）.”At 75, the wife did not ask the husband anymore, the husband waskneelingin front of the very sick wife. Remembering the question the wife used to ask him, this time he asked the wife the same question. The wife, with a smile and quiet look, said, “In this life, I did not miss having you!” The husband was full of tears. He always thought that they could be together forever. He was always busy with work, so he never thought for his wife. The husband hugged(拥抱) the wife hard and said, “ˈOver 50 years, how I let myself miss your deep love for me.”

In the busy city life, there are many people who are always busy with work. These people make their lives around their jobs, these people put all their time and health to meet the social(社会的) need. They don’t spend time on health care. They miss the chance to be with their children in their growing up. They don’t notice the ones who care for them, and also their health.

Nobody knows what is going to happen one year from now. Life is not forever, so always live in the now. Show your care with actions. Treat everyday as the last day of life. In this way, when you die, the ones you loved would have nothing to feel sorry about.