You know how wonderful you are, and you know that others know how wonderful you are, but what do you do when admiration crosses over the line into jealousy(嫉妒)? For most teens there will come a day when you realize that one of your friends is jealous and that this jealousy is hurting your friendship. When this happens it can seem like there is nothing that you can do, but the good news is that there is. Don’t let jealousy spoil your relationships. Deal with it confidently and you might be back to normal much sooner than you think.

It can be hard to walk up to your friends and ask them what the problem is, but if you want to save your friendship you’ll have to do just that. Don’t approach them and ask why they are jealous of you unless of course you want to appear totally conceited (逞能), just take some time alone with them and let them know that you’ve been feeling like there’s been something coming between you. If they refuse to respond, then use the opportunity to explain how you have been feeling. Chances are that something you say will strike a nerve and your friend will open up as well.

When you figure out what is annoying your friend, ask him or her what (s)he thinks would make the situation better. If, for example, (s)he says that (s)he feels like (s)he doesn’t get to spend any time with you because of your being off with your new friends from the swim team then maybe you could invite him/her along the next time or block off one day a week for just the two of you. Remember, though, that whatever solution you decide on should be a compromise. Don’t limit your own talents or opportunities simply because your friend is unhappy. Try instead to include him or her in your new life and see how that works out.

Even the best friendships can be ruined by jealousy. This destructive emotion is rarely productive and can turn best friends into worst enemies. Before taking extreme action, chat with your jealous friend to see if the two of you can work out a compromise. If you can’t, be prepared to know exactly how far you will go to keep your friend and how far you won’t.

Dealing with a jealous(嫉妒的) friend isn’t easy. It can be very upset and frustrating. Find out how to make the best of the situation, be fair to yourself and your friend, and, if possible, preserve the friendship. It can be done!

Try to find out why your friend is jealous. Is it because of something you said? Is it because of something you have little or no control over, such as your friend should be supportive of, such as your grades or a special talent of yours?

Once you know where the jealousy comes from, try to understand your friend’s feelings. Imagine how you’d feel in the same situation.

Find out what your friend really wants to have. Does he wish he were smarter or had more supportive parents? Maybe you can be helpful. Let him know that you believe in him and ask what you can do to help him get what he wants.

Try not to boast(炫耀), show off or do things that would make your friend feel frustrated. This will only fan the flames of the jealousy.

Show that you’re happy about your life, but be sure to show interest and excitement about things going on in your friend’s life, too. Spend some time pointing out some of his unique strengths and good qualities.

Sometimes jealousy is mixed with a lot of anger. If your efforts to listen to your friend and encourage him aren’t working, give him some time to cool off. He may need to work out his feelings alone or with someone who’s not the object of his jealousy.

Call up some extra support for yourself, too. Another friend, a relative or a girlfriend/boyfriend may be able to help you sort out your feelings about being the object of your friend’s jealousy. A lot of people feel bad about making someone else jealous, so be sure to remind yourself that you’re a good person!

It’s a familiar feeling. Your friend has made the team for Saturday’s big game, and you take a certain

pleasure in telling him you can’t be there to watch him play. You smile, but that voice in you asks, why him and not you?

Envy is a fault that we like to keep secret. It raises its ugly head when we focus on what we want but don’t possess now, or we may even wish for and take pleasure in someone losing it. Feelings of unfairness are part of being human, but when you focus on them, you can never get out of your dark emotions. And that makes you feel bad.

So is there a solution? Is there anything you can do to stop the most ungenerous emotions? Well, why not turn envy on its head, and make it the encouragement you need for self-improvement? The best weapon against envy is not to compete where you can’t shine, but to do your absolute best where you can.

Start by making peace with yourself, and accept the gifts which make you unique. Make an agreement with yourself to be the best you can be. Then find out exactly the circumstances and qualities in others that start your envy. Is it someone’s singing voice, their work promotion, or their new car? Envy shows us the things we’d like to have─so make up a plan to earn what’s important to you. Sign up for a night class. Start a training program. Give up a treat or two, and start saving for what you want.

And aim for real pleasure in the achievements and good fortune of others. Cheer on your friend when he scores that goal. Enjoy your best friend’s wedding day. Then go out and do something special, and make yourself wonderfully proud of you.

 The American book Who Moved My Cheese has been a bestseller all over the world. It teaches people how to face changes in their lives. Now its author Spence Johnson has written a book just for teens. The book tells us that when facing change in our lives, like a new school or new friends, don't be afraid. Instead, use this change to make a better life. The book gives an example of a change at school. A school is changing from having two terms to three terms because there are too many students.

Several teens are talking about this. Most of them are unhappy and worried. But Chris is not. He laughs and tells a story about two mice, two“little people”and some cheese.

The four are in a maze looking for the cheese. Here, cheese means something important in life, like moving to a new class or getting into college. But they find the cheese is gone. The mice realize that they can’t change what has happened and have to find more cheese. This means finding different dreams. The little people, however, can’t do this. They are afraid of change so they find no cheese.

After Chris finishes the story, the friends understand one thing: to get more cheese, move in a new direction quickly. His friends understand how this can be used in the changes all teens face, such as doing well at school or having good relationships or just feeling good about yourself.

When I was about 12, I had an enemy, a girl who liked to point out my shortcomings（缺点）. Week by week her list grew: I was very thin, I wasn’t a good student, I talked too much, I was too proud, and so on. I tried to hear all this as long as I could. At last, I became very angry. I ran to my father with tears in my eyes.

He listened to me quietly, then he asked.“Are the things she says true or not? Janet, didn’t you ever wonder what you’re really like ? Well, you now have that girl’s opinion. Go and make a list of everything she said and mark the points that are true. Pay no attention to the other things she said.”

I did as he told me. To my great surprise, I discovered that about half the things were true. Some of them I couldn’t change (like being very thin), but a good number I could—and suddenly I wanted to change. For the first time I go to fairly clear picture of myself.

 I brought the list back to Daddy. He refused to take it.“That’s just for you,” he said.“You know better than anyone else the truth about yourself. But you have to learn to listen, not just close your ears in anger and feeling hurt. When something said about you is true, you’ll find it will be of help to you. Our world is full of people who think they know your duty. Don’t shut your ears. Listen to them all, but hear the truth and do what you know is the right thing to do.”Daddy’s advice has returned to me at many important moments. In my life, I’ve never had a better piece of advice.

“Depend on yourself”is what nature says to every man. Parents can help you. Teachers can help you. Others still can help you. But all these only help you to help yourself.

   There have been many great men in history. But many of them were very poor in boyhood, and had no uncles, aunts, or friends to help them. Schools were few and low. They could not depend on them for an education. They saw how it was, and set to work with all their strength to know something. They worked their own way up to fame.

   One of the most famous teachers in England used to tell his pupils,“I cannot make worthy men of you, but I can help you make men of yourselves.”

   Some young men have no ambitions（雄心）to do anything ; and they are to be pitied. They can never succeed unless they see their foolishness, and change their courses. They are nothing now, and will be nothing as long as they live, unless they accept the advice of parents and teachers. and depend upon their own honest and serious efforts.

My seven-year-old daughter,Taylor,started a business called Tay Bear Company.She makes and sells hand-painted hair clips(夹子) at local stores.When she started her business I thought that she wanted extra pocket money. 

Taylor was going to buy teddy bears for children with cancer.She said the kids probably have a lot of sadness in their lives.Taylor wanted them to know that even strangers care about them.She set her goal at 500 teddy bears.I thought that others didn’t really understand her too high goal .I was the one that didn’t understand.

The media picked up on Taylor’s project and our community has accepted her efforts.But help has come from far beyond our little community.Taylor has received donations from strangers that live thousands of miles away.She has also expanded her project to include over 100 other children as helpers.Taylor wanted other kids to feel that they were capable of helping others in their own way,too.Along the way she also raised her goal to 700 teddy bears.

What is truly amazing is that she has sold over 1,000 hair clips.She buys supplies over the Internet,and she has e-mail letters going between herself and the marketing directors of several large companies.Taylor has been touched by so many people on her journey.

Taylor will be continuing her work and wants to reach even more children with cancer that could use a hug from a teddy bear.

Have you heard of the saying, “If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing well”? The proverb is a piece of advice to make effects towards perfection in whichever job one does. It could be a small task like folding up your clothes, or a major one like organizing a business meeting in your later life.

Perfection just needs paying attention to details. If it is your job to dust the furniture at home, dust it so that not a single spot of dirt shows from any direction. If your task is to make the beds, make them so that not a single crease（皱纹）shows on the bed-covers.

There are only two ways to do a job: either sloppily, or well. If you choose the latter, you need to realize that any job that qualifies (取得…的资格)as“your” work deserves your best. Perfection is an attitude that can be developed with just a little effect. It is a habit that is helpful to a person in later life. Let us prove with an example: you may be asked to turn in an essay on, for example, wildlife, for a school project. Instead of writing carelessly a few facts that you already know, you could make the project more effective by looking up a reference books, encyclopedias（百科全书）or websites for additional information. You could then go over the finished essay for slips（疏漏）and errors, and provide pictures where necessary. If you make it a habit to put in extra effort in your school homework, will it not help you to handle more difficult projects at the college or university level?

As Michelangelo, the famous 16th century sculptor and painter, once put it: Trifles（琐事）go to make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

In March 1987, I started a new magazine called Creating Excellence. It was a very proud moment for me. I’d worked hard for over a year to create it, and the premiere issue (首次发刊) was a real success.

    Shortly after we had mailed 25,000 copies, I received one in the mail. But this one wasn’t as beautiful as the ones we’d sent out. It was marked in red ink correcting the grammatical errors (语法错误) in it. A talented editor had read it carefully and found more errors than I could have imagined.

    I felt abashed. A magazine called Creating Excellence should be perfect in its content (内容). The stories were good, but the errors this woman had found showed that our magazine was far from being excellent.

    At first, I was not satisfied with my editor for not having avoided the mistakes, and dissatisfied with the woman who seemed to have taken pleasure in pointing them out. Later, I was dissatisfied with myself for not having employed a better editor.

    Then I realized that I had to face up to my mistake. I called the talented editor. I thanked her for taking the time to read our magazine so carefully. Painful as it was, I accepted responsibility for it.

    Then I offered her the job of editing our magazine. The result was a great improvement in it; we could now be very proud of our magazine.

    From this I learnt that an upsetting moment can be an opportunity to see the truth, and it can help to prevent one making the same mistakes, and to make "excellence" a reality.