It was a cold winter.The day my husband fell to his death,it started to snow,just
(1) any November day.His
(2) ,when I found it,was lightly covered with snow.It snowed almost every day for the next four months,while I sat on the couch(长沙发) and watched it
(3) .One morning,I walked slowly
(4) and was surprised to see a snow remover(扫雪机) clearing my driveway(清理我家的车道) and the bent back of a woman clearing my walk.I dropped to my knees and crawled(爬) back upstairs,
(5) those good people would not see me.I was
(6) .My first thought was,how would I ever
(7) them?I didn't have the
(8) to brush my hair,
(9) clear someone's walk.
Before Jon's death,I felt proud that I
(10) asked for favors.I identified myself by my competence and
(11) .So who was I if I was no longer capable(有能力的)?How could I
(12) myself if I just sat on the couch every day and watched the snow fall?
Learning to receive the love and
(13) from others wasn't easy.Friends cooked for me and I cried.Finally,my friend Kathy said,"Mary,cooking for you isn't a
(14) for me; it makes me feel good to be able to do something for you."
Over and over,I heard
(15) words from the people who supported me during those
(16) days.One wise man told me,"You aren't doing nothing because being fully open to your
(17) may be the hardest work you will ever do."
I am not the person I
(18) was,but in many ways I have changed for the
(19) .I've been surprised to learn that there is incredible freedom coming from
(20) one's worst fear and walking away whole.I believe there is strength,for sure,in accepting a dark period of our life.