4．
Some children are natural-born bosses．They have a strong need to make decisions，manage their environment，and lead rather than follow．Stephen Jackson，a Year One student，"operates under the theory of what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine，"says his mother．"The other day I bought two new Star Wars light sabers（剑）．Later，I saw Stephen with the two new ones while his brother was using the beat-up ones．"
"Examine the extended family，and you'll probably find a bossy grandparent，aunt，uncle or cousin in every generation．It's an inheritable trait，"says Russell Barkley，a professor at the Medical University of South Carolina．Other children who may not be particularly bossy can gradually gain dominance（支配地位） when they sense their parents are weak，hesitant，or in disagreement with each other．
Whether it's inborn nature or developed character at work，too much control in the hands of the young isn't healthy for children or the family．"Fear is at the root of a lot of bossy behaviour，"says family psychologist John Taylor．"Children，"he says in his book From Defiance to Cooperation，"have secret feelings of weakness and a desire to feel safe．It's the parents'role to provide that protection．"
When a"boss child"doesn't learn limits at home，the stage is set for a host of troubles outside the family．The overly willful and unbending child may have trouble obeying teachers or coaches，for example，or trouble keeping friends．It can be pretty lonely as the top dog if no one likes your bossy ways．
"I see more and more parents giving up their power，"says Barkley，who has studied bossy behavior for more than 30years．"They bend too far because they don't want to be as strict as their own parents were．But they also feel less confident about their parenting skills．Their kids，in turn，feel more anxious．"
So for the sake of the children，parents should be strict with them in a suitable way and get more knowledge to be good parents．
Title（71）
| Kinds | ◊（72） bossy children with an inheritable trait；
◊developed bossy children． |
Behaviors | ◊having a strong need to make decisions；
◊（73） ；
◊leading rather than following；
◊not （74） at home． |
（75） | Children | Parents |
◊fear（the basic cause）
◊（76）
◊a desire to feel safe | ◊weakness，hesitation and disagreement with each other；
◊less power over the children；
◊（77） about parenting skills． |
| Influences | ◊having trouble dealing with others or keeping friends；
◊feeling （78） ． |
（79）
for parents | ◊being strict with children in a suitable way；
◊providing protection；
◊learning to be （80） ． |