All of my childhood and early adult life my mom weighed over 220 pounds. She never came to any school events. I have no memory of my mother attending anything with me at all. I often wondered if she maybe didnˈt love me enough to support me.

I would hear stories about when my mother was younger. She used to be the familyˈs number one dancer，dancing all night. I had never seen this dancing woman，though; the woman I grew up with had traded in her dancing shoes for house slippers.

As I became an adult，I began to understand people better. I soon realized that my mom loved me. After a while，I understood that my mom was in pain; however，I didnˈt know how to help her.

Fortunately，from somewhere，she found the strength to help herself. After more than twenty years of fighting against obesity(肥胖症)，my mother completed an eighteen-month diet that left her ninety pounds lighter than before. A new woman was born！At age twenty-eight，I got a new mom！It wasnˈt so much her new body that was the surprise，but rather her new spirit.

To celebrate her new size，my mother joined a “Mrs. Forty-Plus” competition，where she would have to model，give a speech and provide a dance performance. She told our family that she didnˈt care if she won－she simply had always wanted to perform on stage.

The competition was intense(激烈)！Her speech brought tears to everyoneˈs eyes，and her performance copying Janet Jackson stopped the show. That night，at age forty-three，my mother was crowned “Mrs. Forty-Plus”．She was the first person in our family to ever win such a title. With this new woman，my mother was born again. She gave herself a new chance in life－as a model，a dancer，a mother and a friend. At age twenty-eight，I met my “hero”．

I wanted to have tea with Nirad in a tea break during a retreat (静养). I was holding the cup so he could sip (小口喝) tea. I was being careful and poured a small quantity in his mouth. I enjoyed concentrating on each moment and listening deeply to do a good job with serving tea.

We were immediately connected and befriended each other during this time. Two other retreat participants joined and then there were four people talking about varieties of topics which ranged from how Nirad progressed in his education to cool ones like how he maintains his weight, etc. These conversations brought smiles and it seemed that we all knew each other from long time ago. In subtle (巧妙的) ways, we quietly felt the connection.

When we finished tea, I felt like tying a wristband for Nirad. The wristband had the letters that read “WE” on one side and “ME” on the other if read upside down. This beautiful gift was received from the Moved By Love team (a non-profit volunteer organization in India). I told Nirad that my youngest brother is about his age, and he gave me a sweet, calm smile.

I felt deep content during this teatime. I had actually lived those moments, being sympathetic and friendly. It was an experience of joy. Later, during the retreat, each time myself and Nirad happened to greet or talk, we smiled naturally and felt connected.

It's sad that we don't connect deeply, even with our family or friends. We are just too busy running after things, going nowhere. We don't seem to concentrate or care enough for people during our conversations. I had these valuable realizations later.

On the last day of the retreat, I told Nirad, “This was the best teatime I ever had in my life.” He gave me a warm, unforgettable smile.

   I think it was October, 1982. A friend had business dealings in the city of Reno, Nevada, and I was asked to accompany her on an overnight trip. While she conducted her business, I was aimlessly wandering down Virginia Street, heading into a most gloriously beautiful sunset. I had an urge to speak to someone on the street to share that beauty, but I couldn't make eye contact with anyone. Quickly I ducked into a department store and asked the lady behind the counter if she could come outside for just a minute. She looked at me as though I were from some other planet and said, "Well..." Surprisingly, she followed me out.

   When she got outside I said to her, "Just look at that sunset! Nobody out here was looking at it and I just had to share it with someone."

   For a few seconds we just looked. Then I said, "God's in his heaven and all's right with the world." I thanked her for coming out to see it and sharing the beauty.

   Four years later my situation had changed considerably. I had come to the end of a twenty-year marriage, I was alone and on my own for the first time in my life. One day, while my clothes were going around, I picked up a Unity Magazine and read an article about a woman who had been in similar circumstances. She had come to the end of a marriage, moved to a strange community, and the only job she could find was one she disliked: cosmetic sales in a department store. We had a lot in common.

   Then something happened to her that changed everything. She said a woman came into her department store and asked her to step outside to look at a sunset. The stranger had said, "God's in his heaven and all's right with the world.", and she had realized the truth in that statement and that she simply had not been seeing it. From that moment on, she turned her life around.