You are enrolled in a full – time school called “life”. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed them as part of your curriculum.

 Why are you here? What is your purpose? Humans have sought to discover the meaning of life for a very long time. What we and our ancestors have overlooked, however, is that there is no one answer. The meaning of life is different for every individual.

 Each person has his or her own purpose and distinct path, unique and separate from anyone else’s. As you travel your life path, you will be presented with numerous lessons that you will need to learn in order to fulfill that purpose. The lessons you are presented with are specific to you; learning these lessons is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and connection of your own life.

 As you travel through your lifetime, you may encounter challenging lessons that others don’t have to face, while other spends years struggling with challenges that you don’t need to deal with. You may never know why you are blessed with a wonderful marriage, while your friends suffer through bitter arguments and painful divorces, just as you cannot be sure why you struggle financially while your peers enjoy abundance. The only thing you can count on for certain is that you will be presented with all the lessons that you specifically need to learn; whether you choose to learn them or not is entirely up to you.

 The challenge here, therefore, is to align (与……保持一致) yourself with your own unique path by learning individual lessons. This is one of the most difficult challenges you will be faced with in your lifetime, as sometimes your path will be completely different from others’. But, remember, don’t compare your path to the people around you and focus on the difference between their lessons and yours. You need to remember that you will only be faced with lessons that you are capable of learning and are specific to your own growth.

 Our sense of fairness is the expectation of equality – the assumption that all things are equal and justice will always prevail. Life is not, in fact, fair, and you may indeed have a more difficult life path than others around you, deserved or not. Everyone’s circumstances are unique, and everyone needs to handle his or her own circumstances differently. If you want to move toward calm, you will be required to move out of the complaining phase of “it’s not fair”. Focusing on the unfairness of circumstances keeps you comparing yourself with others rather than appreciating your own special uniqueness. You miss out on learning your individual lessons by distracting yourself with feelings of bitterness and anger.

When we’re young and we dream of love and fulfillment（满足感）, we think perhaps of moon-covered Parisian nights or walks along the beach at sunset. No one tells us that the greatest moments of a lifetime are short, unplanned and nearly always catch us off guard.   

Not long ago，as I was reading a bedtime story to my seven-year-old daughter, Annie，I became aware of her focused look. She was staring at me with a faraway, blank expression. Apparently, completing The Tale of Samuel Whiskers was not as important as we first thought.   

I asked what she was thinking about.   

"Mommy," she whispered, "I just canˈt stop looking at your pretty face."I almost dissolved（溶解）on the spot.    Little did she know how many trying moments the glow of her sincerely loving statement would carry me through over the following years.  

Not long after, I took my four-year-old son to an elegant department store, where the sweet notes of a classic love song drew us toward a tuxedoed (穿晚礼服的) musician playing a grand piano. Sam and I sat down on a marble bench nearby, and he seemed as astonished by the pleasant theme as I was.    I didnˈt realize that Sam had stood up next to me until he turned, took my face in his little hands and said, "Dance with me."   

If only those women walking under the Paris moon knew the joy of such an invitation made by a round-cheekedboy with baby teeth. Although shoppers openly chuckled(咯咯笑) and pointed at us as we glided（滑行）and whirled（旋转）around the open space, I would not have traded a dance with such a charming young gentleman if Iˈd been offered the universe.

How many times have you got upset because someone wasn't doing his job，because your child isn't behaving？How many times have you been irritated (恼怒的) when you've planned something carefully and things didn't go as you'd hoped?

This kind of anger and irritation happens to all of us—it’s part of the human experiences.

One thing that irritates me is when people talk during a movie，or cut me off in traffic. Actually, I have a lot of these little annoyances—don't we all？And it isn’t always easy to find peace when you’ve become upset or irritated.

Let me tell you a little secret to finding peace of mind: see the glass as already broken .

See, the cause of our stress, anger and irritation is that things don't go the way we like, the way we expect them to. Think of how many times this has been true for you. And so the solution is simple：expect things to go wrong, expect things to be different than we hoped or planned，expect the unexpected to happen. And accept it.

One quick example: on our recent trip to Japan, I told my kids to expect things to go wrong—they always do on a trip. I told them, “See it as part of the adventure.”

And this worked like a charm. When we inevitably(不可避免地) took the wrong train on a foreign ­language subway system, or when it rained on the day we went to Disney Sea, or when we took three trains and walked 10 blocks only to find the National Children's Castle closed on Mondays...they said, “It's part of the adventure！” And it was all OK—we didn't get too bothered.

So when the nice glass you bought inevitably falls and breaks some day, you might get upset. But things will be different, if you see the glass as already broken, from the day you get it. You know it'll break some day, so from the beginning, see it as already broken. Be a time­traveler, or someone with time­traveling vision, and see the future of this glass, from this moment until it inevitably breaks. And when it breaks, you won't be upset or sad—because it was already broken, from the day you got it. And you’ll realize that every moment you have with it is precious.

D

In all one’s lifetime it is oneself that one spends the most time being with or dealing with. But it is exactly oneself that one has the least understanding of.

When you are going upwards in life you tend to overestimate yourself. It seems that everything you seek for is within your reach. When you are going downhill you tend to underestimate yourself, mistaking difficulties for your own incompetence.

To get a complete understanding of oneself is to gain a correct view of oneself — aware of both one’s strengths and shortages. You may look forward hopefully to the future but be sure not to expect too much, for ideals can never be fully realized. You may be courageous to meet challenges but it should be clear to you where to direct your efforts. That’s to say so long as you have a perfect knowledge of yourself there won’t be difficulties you can’t overcome.

To get a thorough understanding of oneself needs self-appreciation. Whether you think you are a towering tree or a blade of grass, a high mountain or a small stone, you represent a state of nature that has its own value. If you earnestly admire yourself you’ll have a real sense of self-appreciation, which will give you confidence. As soon as you gain full confidence in yourself, you’ll be enabled to fight and overcome any adversity.

To get a thorough understanding of oneself also requires doing oneself a favor when it’s needed. In time of sadness, do yourself a favor by sharing it with your friends so as to change a gloomy mood into a cheerful one; in time of tiredness, do yourself a favor by getting a good sleep. As you are aware, what a person physically has is but a human body that’s vulnerable when exposed to the elements. So if you fall ill, it’s up to you to take a good care of yourself.

In a word, to get a thorough understanding of oneself is to get a full control of one’s life. Then one will find one’s life full of color and flavor.

While income worry is a rather common problem of the aged, loneliness is another problem that aged parents may face. Of all the reasons that explain their loneliness, a large geographical distance between parents and their children is the major one. This phenomenon is commonly known as "Empty Nest Syndrome”（空巢综合症）．

In order to seek better chances outside their countries, many young people have gone abroad, leaving their parents behind with no clear idea of when they will return home. Their parents spend countless lonely days and nights, taking care of themselves, in the hope that someday their children will come back to stay with them. The fact that most of these young people have gone to Europeanized or Americanized societies makes it unlikely that they will hold as tightly to the value of duty as they would have if they had not left their countries. Whatever the case, it has been noted that the values they hold do not necessarily match what they actually do. This geographical and cultural distance also prevents the grown-up children from providing response in time for their aged parents living by themselves.

The situation in which grown-up children live far away from their aged parents has been described as "distant parent phenomenon", which is common both in developed countries and in developing countries. Our society has not yet been well prepared for "Empty Nest Syndrome".

D

In her outstanding book, “Choose the Happiness Habit”, Pam Golden wrote, “Take the story of two twin brothers for example. One grew up and became an alcoholic (酒鬼), while the other became a successful businessman. When asked why he became an alcoholic, the alcoholic replied, “Because my father was a drunk.” However, the successful businessman’s answer was also “Because my father was a drunk.” when asked why he succeeded. The same background. The same upbringing (培养). However, the results were quite different. Why? The reason is that they had different choices. The brothers chose different thoughts which formed the situations they found themselves in at last, so they had different experiences.

There was a time in my life when I thought difficulty was due to “bad luck”. Have you ever heard the saying “When it rains, it pours”? That was my answer when others asked me how things were going on when I was in trouble. So what do you think I got? “RAIN”. More and more “RAIN”. I couldn’t understand why bad luck was always with me.

Pam Golden says, “You’re either living in the problem or you’re living in the solution.” Now, when I’m faced with what I used to think was a negative (消极的) situation, I use a different way to think about it. I force myself to replace those negative thoughts that make me lose heart in my mind with positive thoughts which encourage me to fight against the difficulty bravely. Sometimes I write down some ideas that may be a solution, which I combine with the lessons I have learned from the bad situations and the difficulties that troubled me in the past, and often, I find a solution to the problem soon. It seems that I should thank the difficulty I met with. The RAIN that poured in my world has become great experiences that provide me with valuable experience, from which I can benefit.

Now, it doesn’t “rain” as much in my life as it used to. In fact, most days are beautiful, cloudless and sunny! Sometimes I do get a rain, but I think it makes me stronger just like the rain helps plants grow up.

It was early December and I was driving my children over an hour to a distant mall to do some Christmas shopping. We were finally nearing the exit that would take us there. I smiled and sang quietly along to the song playing on the radio.

Then I noticed an older woman in worn, dirty clothes with an incredible sadness in her eyes at the end of the highway exit holding a sign. “It is probably someone trying to catch a ride south，” I thought to myself. When I got close enough to read it, however, I saw that it said, “Homeless. Please help. Willing to work for food.”

I took my children into the mall, but all the Christmas spirit had left my heart. I couldnˈt stop thinking about the woman by the exit, standing outside in the cold, without a home.

Later after we left the mall my children and I stopped at a local store to buy some snacks for the long drive back home. When I got to the exit that would get us back on the highway, though, I found myself driving past it and back to the exit we had driven in on. She was still there holding her sign in the December air. I pulled off the side of the road, pulled out the money I had left in my wallet and gave it to my daughter beside me. She then rolled down her window and gave it to the lady. The woman stood there with the money in her hand and thanked us. Before she could finish her sentence my daughter reached out and gave her the food she had bought for the trip home.

We pulled back out on the highway. None of us felt proud or even happy with what we had done. We only wished we could have done more. And I also hope that is what more people will continue to struggle to do at Christmas time and always.

Many years ago，my dad was facing a serious heart condition．He was unable to do a steady job．He fell suddenly ill and had to be admitted to the hospital

He wanted to do something to keep himself busy, so he decided to volunteer at the local children’s hospital．My dad loved kids．It was the perfect job for him．He ended up working with the seriously ill children．He would talk，play, and does arts with them．

One of his kids was a girl with a rare disease that paralyzed(瘫痪)her from the neck down．She couldn’t do anything，and she was very depressed．My dad decided to try to help her．He started visiting her in her room，bringing paints，brushes and paper．He stood the paper up，put the paintbrush in his mouth and began to paint．He didn’t use his hands at a11．All the while he would tell her, “See，you can do anything you set your mind to．”

At the end of the day, she began to paint using her mouth，and she and my dad became friends．Soon after, the little girl was sent home because the doctors felt there was nothing else they could do for her．My dad also left the children’s hospital for a little while because he became i11．Sometime later after my dad had recovered and returned to work，in came the little girl who had been paralyzed and only this time she  was walking．She ran straight over to my dad and hugged him really tight．She gave him a picture she had done using her hands．At the bottom it read：“Thank you for helping me walk．”  

My dad would cry every time he told US this story and SO would we．He would say sometimes love is more powerful than doctor, and my dad—who died just a few months after the little girl gave thepicture--loved every single child in that hospital．

I’ll never forget the day that Jace, one of my students shyly raised his hand and said that he had never received a gift. My class were discussing a story about a boy who got nothing for his birthday because money was tight when Jace’s honesty surprised us.

Then I remembered his story. His mother was out of the picture and he lived alone with his dad. His father had a hard time holding down a job. Although life was difficult, Jace always came to school with a smile and enthusiasm for learning.

A couple of weeks after Jace’s comment, he was absent from school. This happened to be the day to plan for the classroom Christmas gift exchange. As we were discussing, a girl raised her hand and suggested that we each buy a gift for Jace. The enthusiasm grew as the students discussed the kinds of things they knew Jace would like. With great excitement, the gifts began to come in.

After several days of absences, you can imagine our disappointment when we learned that Jace’s absences were due to the fact that he had moved away! Apparently, Jace’s father had lost his job, causing them to move. No one knew where they were, and the cell phone number would ring with no response. Finally, at 9:30 PM on Christmas Eve, I decided to try one last time. Amazingly, Jace answered the phone!

I explained the story to Jace and I spoke with his father. Then I was driving to Jace’s home. When I arrived, I was excited to see Jace. It took several trips to my car to get all of the gifts inside. Jace was so surprised and grateful. His joyful smile that evening lit up the sky.

I went to sleep that night thinking about Jace and all of the fun he had. I thought about my thoughtful students and how excited I was to tell them all about finding Jace. With a smile of my own, I was thankful to be a part of one of the most important “lessons” of their lives.

  B

Whenever the sun dropped and the blue sky came up, my father and I used to climb the mountain near my house. Walking together, my father and I used to have a lot of conversations through which I learned lessons from his experiences.He always stressed to me, “You should have objectives and capacity(能力) like the mountain.”

This has largely influenced my life. Without the mountain-climbing that we both enjoyed, we couldn’t have had enough time to spend together because my father was very busy. I believe mountaineering is really beneficial. It gave me time to talk with my father and to be in deep thought as well as develop my patience. I loved scaling mountains, to get away from the noise and pollution of the city, and breathe the fresh air.

One time we climbed a very high mountain. It was so challenging for me because I was only ten years old.During the first few hours of climbimg, I enjoyed the fresh air, the birds’ singing, and the beautiful dances of butterflies; but as time passed, I got a pain in both of my legs. At that moment, I wanted to quit climbing. Actually, I hated it at that time, but my father said to me, “Spring is a season when everything comes to life again. The mountain and fields where we are standing are embroidered(点缀) with flowers and trees. You can always see a beautiful sky at the top of the mountain, but you can’t see it before you reach the top. You can always enjoy the scenes of many waterfalls anf countless peaks and valleys at the top of the mountian, but you can’t when you are halfway up. Only there at the top,can you hug all of those things, just like in life. ”

AT that time, I was too young to understand his thoughts, but after that, I got new hope and confidence. Finally, I found myself standing at the top of the mountain. And there, I could see the whole of the sky, which was as clear as crystal(透明).