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A.Train conflict-management B.Teach mutual respect C.Guide children by personal examples D.Recognize the existence of sibling conflict E.Show appreciation for who your child is F.Do not play favorites |
76.Sibling conflict is as old as Cain and Abel,as legendary as Cinderella and her stepsisters and can be as deadly as the daughters of King Lear.Parents should know the battles are inevitable and must prepare their kids to defuse potentially ugly situations.And there will be times when parents must come to a child's defense and say,"We are family,and we will not say anything that doesn't build up one another.We will respect each other."Use following tips for encouraging kindness in the home:
77.Do not allow your children to insult one another.Words are extremely powerful,and snide comments can damage deeply.Experts say every negative comment needs at least five positive remarks to even out.Teach your children to be kind and to appreciate each other.Encourage your kids to see each other's talents.Through recognizing these unique strengths,they will be able to work together well.
78.Sibling rivalry usually originates from a child feeling that the other sibling is loved more,and in some cases when parents are being substantively unfair or show favoritism toward one child,this indeed may be the problem.In Genesis,we see the damage done by Jacob's favoritism of Joseph.Remember that all children are created equal,but not all children are the same.Recognize and praise each child's individual skills,strengths and accomplishments without implying that one child is somehow better.Be sure each child receives adequate parental interest and quality time.
79.Do not deny your child's feelings,but help him learn to express emotions in an appropriate way.If you see your child acting jealously,encourage him to identify the emotion by saying,"I understand that you feel bad because…"or"I know you hurt because…"Helping your children figure out the causes of their actions will help them learn how to deal with problems in the future.
80.Most parents realize children imitate what they see,so look at the example you set.Do you compete with your siblings?Or do you consistently show kindness to your brothers and sisters?By checking your actions,you can be better prepared to show your children how to emerge the best of friends following the inevitability of a little sibling conflict.
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