1．
One of the primaryh problems of being a human being is ：Try as you might to come across in a certain way to others， people often perceive（感知、理解） you in an altogether different way．
One person may think， for example， that by offering help to a colleague， she is coming across as generous． But her colleaguemay interpret her offer as a lack of faith in his abilities． Just as he misunderstands her， she misunderstands him： She offered him help because she thought he was overworked and stressed． He has， after all， been showing up early to work and going home late every day． But that' s not why he's keeping strange hours； he just works best when the office is less crowded．
These kinds of misunderstandings lead to conflict and resentment（怨恨） not just at work， but at home too． How many fights between couples have started with one person misinterpreting what another says and oes？ He stares at his plate at dinner while she's telling a story and she assumes he doesn't care about what she's saying， when really he is admiring the beautiful meal she made．
Most of the time， Halvorson says， people don't realize they are not coming across the way they think they are． "If I ask you，" Halvorson told me， "about how you see yourself----what traits（特点） you would say describe you --- and I ask someone who knows you well to list your traits， there's a big gap between how other people see us and how we see ourselves．"
This gap arises from some quirks（习惯） of human psychology． Most people suffer from what psychologists call "the transparency illusion"---- the belief that what they feel， desire， and intend is crystal clear to others， even though they have done very little to communicate clearly what is going on inside their minds．
Because the perceived assume they are transparent， they might not spend the time or effort to be as clear and forthcoming about their intentions or emotional states as they could be， giving the perceiver very little information with which to make an accurate judgment． The perceiver， meanwhile， is dealing with two powerful psychological forces that are warping（歪曲） his ability to read others accurately．
Chances are that you "I'm kind of hurt by what you just said" face probably looks an awful lot like your "I'm not at all hurt by what you just said" face． And the majority of times that you've said to yourself， "I made my intentions clear，" or "He knows what I meant，" you didn't and he doesn't．
| Passage outline | Supporting details |
| A primary problem | People's understanding of your behavior often （1） ______ your original intention． |
| Typical（2） ______ | ◆A colleague may feel you don't （3） ______ him to work well when you offer generous help．
◆You think your colleague overworks， but he believes he can be more （4） ______ when left alone at office after work．
◆A wife may feel angry about her husband being absent-minded while she is telling a story at dinner， but actually his （5） ______ is on what she has cooked． |
| （6） ______ of the problem | ◆ Most of the time， people don't realize the problem．
◆ Your （7） ______ of your traits is quite different from how others see you．
◆ Most people believe others know them well， so they tend to ignore the clear （8） ______ of what is going on inside their minds．
◆ Without enough information about the perceived， the perceiver often （9） ______ to make an accurate judgment． |
| Conclusion | ◆ It is likely that there is a （10） ______ between what you think you are and what others think you are． |