Are you happy? Do you remember a time when you were happy? Are you seeking happiness today?Many have sought a variety of sources for their feelings of happiness. Some have put their heart and effort into their work. Too many have turned to drugs and alcohol. Most of their efforts have a root in one common fact，People are looking for a lasting source of happiness.

   Unfortunately，I believe that happiness escapes many because they misunderstand the process and journey of finding it. I have heard many people say，“I'll be happy when 1 get my new promotion,”or“I’ll be happy when I lose that extra 20 pounds.”The list goes on and on,

  This thinking is dangerous because it presupposes that happiness is a“response”to having, being or doing something. In life, we all experience stimulus (刺激) and response. Stimulus is when a dog barks at you and bares his teeth. Response is when you prepare to run. Today, some people think that an expensive car is a stimulus. Happiness is a response. A great paying job is a stimulus. Happiness is a response. A loving relationship is a stimulus. This belief leaves us thinking and feeling，“I'll be happy when…”

 It has been my finding that actually the opposite is true. I believe that happiness is a stimulus and response is what life brings to those who are truly happy. When we are happy, we tend to have more success in our work. When we are happy，people want to be around us and enjoy loving relationship. When we are happy, we more naturally take better care of our bodies and enjoy good health. Happiness is NOT a response—rather, it is a stimulus.

 Happiness is not something that happens to us after we get something we want—we usually get things we want AFTER we choose to be happy.I have made only one simple rule for my own happiness: Every day above ground is a good day. Therefore, I tend to have a lot of good (and happy) days continually.

Every year on my birthday, from the time I turned 12, a white gardenia（栀子花）was delivered to my house. It did not come with a card or note of any kind, but I loved the beauty and sweet smell of the flower.

But I never stopped imagining who the giver might be. My mother helped me to imagine. She’d ask me if I had done something kind for anyone. Perhaps the neighbor I’d helped carry heavy bags for. As a teenage, though, I had more fun thinking that it might be a boy I liked at school.

One month before I graduated from high school, my father died . I lost interest in graduation, the senior class play and the prom (毕业舞会). But my mother would not hear of me skipping any of those things. She wanted her children to have a sense that there was beauty in the face of adversity (逆境) , just like the gardenia-lovely, strong and perfect.

My mother died 10 days after I was married. I was 22. That was the year gardenias stopped coming.

Marjorie Baer used to joke about her retirement plans.She wasn’t married and had no kids,but she didn’t intend to be alone—she and all her single friends would move into a fictional home she called Casa de Biddies.Instead,Baer developed terminal brain cancer when she was 52.But just as she’d hoped,her friends and family provided her with love and care to the end.

Ballance was only the first of Baer’s friends who became her unofficial caregivers.With her brother Phil Baer from Los Angeles,they worked out a system to watch over their friend and allow her to keep some of the privacy and independence she cherished.

Baer’s good friend Ruth Henrich took Baer to doctors’ appointments and helped her deal with all the aspects of life —answering machines,TV controls,and even phone numbers.After Henrich sent out an e-mail request,a group of volunteers signed up to ferry Baer back and forth to radiation therapy(放射疗法).Others in Baer’s circle offered up particular talents:A nurse friend helped Baer figure out how to get what she was due from Social Security and her disability insurance;a lawyer pal helped Baer with her will;a partner who was an accountant took over her bills when she could no longer manage them.“There was this odd sense that the right person always showed up,” says Ballance.Their arrangement worked remarkably well.

Unmarried women are one of the fastest-growing groups in America;experts are concerned about how care-giving will be managed for them as they age.If the experience of Baer’s friends is a guide,the Internet will play a role.It’s already making it possible to create communities of caregivers who may have only one thing in common:the person who needs their help.On personal “care pages” set up through services such as Lotsa Helping Hands,friends and family members can post a list of tasks that need to be done,volunteer to do them,and keep updated on the person’s condition.As Baer’s cancer progressed,for example,her friends set up a page on Yahoo! where people could sign up to deliver meals or do errands(差事).　

Catherine Fox,one of the friends who were present when Baer died,was deeply affected.“It was so comforting to know that if you’re willing to ask for help,the generosity of family and friends can be phenomenal(非凡的).It makes me feel secure and hopeful to know that help is there when you need it.”

At a certain time in our lives we consider every place as the possible sites(地点)for a house.I have thus searched the country within a dozen miles of where I live.In imagination I have bought all the farms,one after another,and I knew their prices.

The nearest thing that I came to actual ownership was when I bought the Hollowell place.But before the owner completed the sale with me,his wife changed her mind and wished to keep it,and he offered me additional dollars to return the farm to him.However,I let him keep the additional dollars and sold him the farm for just what I gave for it.

The real attractions of the Hollowell farm to me were its position,being about two miles from the village,half a mile from the nearest neighbor,bounded(相邻)on one side by the river,and separated from the highway by a wide field.The poor condition of the house and fences showed that it hadn’t been used for some time.I remembered from my earliest trip up the river that the house used to be hidden behind a forest area,and I was in a hurry to buy it before the owner finished getting out some rocks, cutting down the apple trees,and clearing away some young trees which had grown up in the fields.I wanted to buy it before the owner made any more improvements.But it turned out as I have said.

I was not really troubled by the loss.I had always had a garden,but I don’t think I was ready for a large farm.I believe that as long as possible it is better to live free and uncommitted(无牵挂的).It makes but little difference whether you own a farm or not.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

 Dreaming about whether you would want to read minds, see through walls, or have superhuman strength may sound silly, but it actually gets to the heart of what really matters in your life.

  Every day in our work, we are inspired by the people we meet doing extraordinary things to improve the world.

They have a different kind of superpower that all of us possess: the power to make a difference in the lives of others.

We’re not saying that everyone needs to contribute their lives to the poor. Your lives are busy enough doing homework, playing sports, making friends, seeking after your dreams. But we do think that you can live a more powerful life when you devote some of your time and energy to something much larger than yourself. Find an issue you are interested in and learn more. Volunteer or, if you can, contribute a little money to a cause. Whatever you do, don’t be a bystander（旁观者）. Get involved. You may have the opportunity to make your biggest difference when you’re older. But why not start now?

Our own experience working together on health, development, and energy the last twenty years has been one of the most rewarding parts of our lives. It has changed who we are and continues to fuel our optimism about how much the lives of the poorest people will improve in the years ahead.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a personal motto. I wanted a saying that I could really try to live my life by. I mean all the humorous book and storybook heroes always have a personal principle they follow. Good manners! Courage! Keenness! But a part of me could never get myself to create my own motto because I never knew where to start and I never thought I could give one.

“With great power comes great responsibility.” is a quote by the great writer and philosopher, Voltaire. More familiar, it makes an appearance in the modern day movie performance of the superhero Spider-Man. This saying provides a sense of responsibility for those with actually limitless power.

“Be good to others and others will be good to you.” is another well-known proverb that has roots in almost all of the major religions. Although it is less practiced today than it is lectured, it is a powerful and good motto to live by. Kindness, in this sense, is the final power in judging every action.

My personal motto today has an idea – being efficient. Through my limited knowledge, I have come to find that this is simply the best way for me to give insight about who I am and what I believe in.

Efficiency is a quality that everyone desires for, right? Who doesn’t want to be able to not only work fast but to achieve great results? To some, it may appear to be a frightening journey. But to me, it means that I have a lifelong journey to improve the methods and ideas with which I come near my tasks.

Regardless of what motto you want to live by, I believe that everyone should have one, or two or more. These are all symbols of a perfect story of us, in our own view. We are never meant to be perfect, but it is important to try and live by a belief that will provides insight to the type of person we were, we are and what we strive to be.All you have to do is know what your excitement is and live by it.

I arrived late one night on a business trip, so I decided to have dinner in the hotel I stayed in. As I was finishing my meal, an elderly couple came in. They were holding hands and had lovely smiles on their faces. They sat three tables from me. I was amazed at the love they showed for each other. It struck me because it was shortly after ending a 20-year marriage and I still had pain in my heart.

My waiter was also their waiter. As I paid my bill, I asked what their bill was. He told me, and I gave him $40 to pay their bill. He asked if I knew them and I told him “No, I just wanted to repay them for the love that they were showing to each other,” and then I left. The next day I entered the restaurant again. After I had been seated, the waiter who served me the night before told me that the strangest thing happened after I left the restaurant. When the elderly couple went to pay for their meal, they were told that it had been paid. The waiter just told them what I said. They were amazed. They looked around, asked for the bill of two young couples who were seated together, paid their bill and left.

I smiled and ordered my meal. About 45 minutes later, I finished my meal and was about to head out, but my waiter was nowhere to be found. I explained to the hostess that I needed to pay for my meal and hurry to the airport. She smiled and explained that I would not have to pay, because she felt she should pay for my bill because of the joy brought to the faces of the elderly couple and the amazement of the young couples.

When I told her that they didn’t have to do that, she said with a smile “Love creates Love.”

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you too, and would love to spend some time with you.”

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who had been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

“What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

“I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you” I responded, “just the two of us”. She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much”.

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up, I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as angel’s.

“I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed.” she said, as she got into the car, “They can’t wait to hear about our meeting”.

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there starting at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

“It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small.” she said.

“Then it’s time that you relaxed and let me return the favor.” I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation – nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that at that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: “I LOVE YOU” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till “some other time.”

Some people think that success is only for those with talent or those who grow up in the right family, and others believe that success mostly comes down to luck . I’m not going to say luck, talent and circumstances don’t come into play because they do. Some people are born into the right family while others are born with great intelligence, and that’s just the reality of how life is . 

However, to succeed in life, one first needs to set a goal and then gradually make it more practical. And, in addition to that, in order to get really good at something, one needs to spend at least 10,000 hours studying and practicing. To become great at certain things, it’ll require even more time, time that most people won’t put in. 

This is a big reason why many successful people advise you to do something you love. If you don’t enjoy what you do, it is going to feel like unbearable pain and will likely make you quit well before you ever become good at it. 

When you see people exhibiting some great skills or having achieved great success, you know that they have put in a huge part of their life to get there at a huge cost. It’s sometimes easy to think they got lucky or they were born with some rare talent, but thinking that way does you no good, and there’s a huge chance that you’re wrong anyway. 

Whatever you do, if you want to become great at it, you need to work day in and day out, almost to the point of addiction, and over a long period of time. If you’re not willing to put in the time and work, don’t expect to receive any rewards. Consistent, hard work won’t guarantee you the level of success you may want, but it will guarantee that you will become really good at whatever it is you put all that work into.

A

It was my first day back home since starting college. A lot had changed in the last year. Not with my hometown but with me. I had left as a 17-year-old boy and had now returned as an 18-year-old man. In the city, I was living on my own, had a part-time job and was studying. Even the government recognized I was an adult: I had a driver’s license. So here I was, on my summer vacation, walking down the main street with my father, desperate for him to acknowledge how mature I was. When his recognition failed to appear, I took matters into my own hands. “Dad,” I said casually, “I’m thirsty. Let’s go for a beer.” It was the first time I’d ever mentioned beer in front of my father, let alone ask him to drink one with me.

       He turned to me with a curious expression on his face. “A beer? Well I guess you’re old enough now. Let’s go to Sailors’ Bar. It’s where my cousin Tom, your uncle, used to drink. You remember him, right?”

       I had only some vague(模糊的) memories of my uncle. He was the black sheep of the family. We didn’t talk about him much. “What ever happened to Uncle Tom, Dad? I haven’t seen him in years,” I said as we continued towards the bar.

       “Neither have I, unfortunately. He was a good kid once. But things changed,” my father said sadly. As a boy, he explained, there had been no better-behaved boy than Tom. But after leaving school, he moved to the city and fell in with bad company. He started going out every night, drinking in nightclubs and playing cards. Soon he lost everything and had to beg his mum to pay his debts. She agreed on the condition he returned home.

My dad took a deep breath and continued his tale. “Things settled down for a while. He married a lovely woman, gave up his bad habits. But it didn’t last. He was soon back to his old ways. He couldn’t resist. He was at Sailors’ Bar almost every night. His poor mother died of grief and shame. His wife followed her soon after.

“What ruined him was alcohol. He told me once, when a man begins drinking, he never knows where it’ll end. ‘So’, Tom warned me, ‘beware of your first drink!’

  “He went from bad to worse. Last year Tom sent me a letter saying he had been found guilty of stealing, and sent to prison for ten years.”

       Dad finished talking just as we reached the front of Sailors’ Bar. “Anyway, here we are. Let’s go in,” he said. But I understood. I put my arm around my father and said, “I’m not thirsty any more, Dad. Let’s go home.”