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My husband David was waiting at the door when our daughter Laura and I pulled in the driveway. It wasn’t like him to be home so early. The disbelief on his face told me that something was up.
“Do you still have a job?”
“No. Redundant.”
“OK. We’ll figure it out,” I replied calmly.
I actually had no idea how we were going to figure it out. I immediately started to think of how we’d cut costs and who we should start to get touch with.
That night, after David had fallen asleep, I cried myself to sleep, and frequently sobbed in the shower in the days that followed.
I knew the loss of David’s income would have great effect on us. He had worked for the same insurance company for twenty-one years and was our main income. I work at home caring for Laura, and my freelance（自由职业者的）income is uncertain. We have debts, and job hunting takes time.
Still, I was more concerned about my husband’s emotional state than our financial situation. David’s sense of identity was tied to his job. He called his parents to tell them about losing his job, but didn’t say a word to anyone else for weeks. He told me that he felt like “a failure”.
It was tough for me to watch David struggle with unemployment. One night a couple of weeks after he lost his job, David woke me just before midnight, sweating, pacing the bedroom floor and saying he felt funny.
We spent the night in the emergency room waiting to see if he had a heart attack, thankfully, it was just a serious anxiety attack. It was then that I knew I needed to do more to understand what my husband was going through. Here is what I learned from my own experience—and from talking to experts—on how to support your spouse through a job loss.