You often find somebody who works around you complaining all the time, don’t you?

  (1)   About 70% of Americans say being around nonstop complainers sometimes has a bad influence on them. Luckily, here are 4 tips to help form positive patterns.

1, Self-awareness

When a negative thought pops into your mind, immediately correct it. Instead of telling yourself “That’s a nice shirt, but I can’t afford it,” change the message to “That will look great with my black pants when I can afford it.”  (2)  

Of course, everyone complains sometimes. But the less frequently you complain, the better you will feel.

2,Distance yourself

  (3)  Excuse yourself and go somewhere quiet, somewhere outdoors in the fresh air. Think of something pleasant before returning. You have to take this seriously because negative people can and will pull you into the quicksand (困境).

3, Don’t try to change complainers

If you find yourself trapped in a group of complainers in a meeting or at a social event, simply choose silence. Let their words bounce (弹起) off you while you think of something else. Attempting to stop the complaining can make you a target.   (4)   If someone says, “I hate Mondays, weekends are too short,” try to think, “I’m glad I rested up over the weekend, so I’m ready to make some improvement on that big project.”

4,  (5)  

When someone is shouting at you angrily, throw the responsibility back at them by asking, “So what do you intend to do about it?” In most cases, complainers don’t really want a solution. They just want to speak them out. If you make them aware that they themselves have to find the solutions, they will leave you alone and find someone else to complain to. If so, you will be happy.

During a research experiment a marine（海洋）biologist placed a shark into a large holding tank and then released several small fish into the tank. ___(1)____ 

The marine biologist then inserted a strong piece of clear fiberglass（玻璃纤维）into the tank, creating two separate parts. She then put the shark on one side of the fiberglass and a new set of small fish on the other.

Again, the shark quickly attacked. This time, however, the shark hit the fiberglass divider and bounced off. ____(2)___Meanwhile, the small fish swam around unharmed in the second part. Eventually, about an hour into the experiment, the shark gave up.

   This experiment was repeated several dozen times over the next few weeks. ____(3)___ Eventually the shark got tired of hitting the fiberglass divider and simply stopped attacking altogether.

The marine biologist then removed the fiberglass divider, but the shark didn’t attack.____(4)___So, they swam wherever they wished, free from harm.

   Like the shark in the story, many of us, after experiencing setbacks and failures, emotionally give up and stop trying. ___(5)____ In other words, we continue to see a barrier in our heads, even when no ‘real’ barrier exists between where we are and where we want to go.

What is happiness? When you can feel inner peace and satisfaction, you are happy.  (1)  This usually happens when we do something we love or achieve something that we value. It is our opinions that make us feel happy or unhappy. All of us constantly go through various situations or conditions, but we do not have to let them influence our reactions and feelings.   (2)  

Try hard to make a change of the way you look at things.   (3)  That means looking at the good and positive side of every situation. Pay attention to solutions, not problems. Listen to relaxing and uplifting music. Watch funny and interesting programs that make you laugh.

Always look at what you have done and not at what you haven’t done. Look at what you can do, not at what you cannot do. Each day do at least one act to make others happy. When you make someone happy, you’ll become happy, and then people will try to make you happy.   (4)   On the contrary, be happy for their happiness. Communicate with happy people and try to learn from them to be happy. Remember, do your best to stay detached (冷静的) when things do not occur as intended and desired. Detachment has much to do with inner peace.   (5)  

Doctors say anger can be an extremely damaging emotion, unless you learn how to deal with it. They warn that anger can lead to heart disease, stomach problems, headaches, emotional problems and possibly cancer.

  (1)  Some people express anger openly in a calm and reasonable way. Others burst with anger, and scream and yell. But other people keep their anger inside. They cannot or will not express it. This is called repressing anger.

For years many doctors thought that repressing anger was more dangerous to a person’s health than expressing it. They said that when a person is angry, the brain releases the same hormones (荷尔蒙). They speed the heart rate, raise blood pressure, or sugar into the blood, etc.  (2)  

Some doctors say that both repressing and expressing anger can be dangerous. They believe that those who express anger violently may be more likely to develop heart disease, and they believe that those who keep anger inside may face a greater danger of high blood pressure.

  (3)  They say the first step is to admit that you are angry and to recognize the real cause of the anger, then decide if the cause is serious enough to get angry about. If it is, they say, “  (4)  Wait until your anger has cooled down and you are able to express yourself calmly and reasonably.”

Doctors say that a good way to deal with anger is to find humor in the situation that has made you angry.  (5)  

It was wrong of you to ______________ all your friends who helped you when you were in trouble.

Stop Negative Talk

    “I’m so fat,” one of your friends says. The girl next to her joins in, “Well, I hate my hair today.” Without thinking, you respond: “No, you are not fat! I am fat. And my hair is flat and boring.”     (1)  

     It is easy for people to engage in self-critical conversations, and once it starts there is often pressure for you to join in.     (2)   Maybe it is because “just talking” feels harmless. But before you know it, those opinions flow out of your conversations and into your life, where they start eating away at your self-respect.

         (3)   When you start talking about yourself in a negative way, you are not only affecting your self-respect, but your friends’! When you criticize yourself, your friends might think you have the same standards for them. You have heard that it is important to treat others the way you want to be treated, but there is also value in treating yourself like you treat your friends. If you wouldn’t criticize your friend for the same thing, chances are that you are being too hard on yourself. So, don’t start it.

     But what if someone else starts? For example, your friend feels insecure about how well he played in his soccer game, so he puts himself down: “I suck at soccer.”    (4)   Ask him, “Do you really think that? Why?” Maybe he is actually upset about a comment someone made, or is just getting down on himself over one bad play. Whatever it is, talking through the real issue will help him more than slipping into another negative talk.

It is important to talk to your friend about your insecurities, but make sure you are not talking about them just to put yourself down.  (5)   Instead of just focusing on the negative, talk about what makes you and your friends beautiful and unique—including what you love about your body and what you have accomplished. When you show yourself love, you set yourself as an example, and everyone benefits from you positively.

We are all called upon to make a speech at some point in life, but most of us don’t do a very good job.   　  (1)  　　

So, you have to give a speech and you are terrified. You get nervous, you forget what you want to say, you stumble over words, you talk too long, and you bore your audience. Later you think, “Thank Goodness, it’s over. I’m just not good at public speaking. I hope I never have to do that again.”

Cheer up!  　  (2)  　  Here are some simple steps to take the pain out of speech making. Ask yourself the purpose of your speech. What is the occasion? Why are you speaking? Then, gather as many facts as you can on your subject. Spend plenty of your time doing your research. Then spend plenty of your time organizing your material so that your speech is clear and easy to follow. Use as many examples as possible, and use pictures, charts, and graphs if they help you make your points more clearly.   　  (3)  　    Don’t talk over their heads, and don’t talk down to them. Treat your audience with respect. They will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Just remember: Be prepared. Know your subject, your audience, and the occasion. Be brief.  　  (4)  　  And be yourself. Let your personality come through so that you make person-to-person contact with your audience.

If you follow these simple steps, you will see that you don’t have to be afraid of public speaking. In fact, you may find the experience so enjoyable that you volunteer to make more speeches! You’re not convinced yet?   　  (5)  　  

When we feel great, a smile comes naturally. It’s not natural to smile when we’re sad or upset. But it turns out that smiling might be the best thing to do when you’re ready to change into a brighter mood.

   Scientists have found that smiling on purpose can help people feel better.   (1)  Smiling on purpose also changes brain chemistry. So it can be a big help to people who are dealing with depression and anxiety.

    Our body language can influence our emotions. In one study, researchers discovered that people who stood in a confident way actually felt more confident.   (2)  

   A smile helps you feel happier and being happier helps you keep the smile going in a genuine way.   (3)   There’s just one trick to making smiling work for you: You need to do it correctly.

   A true and genuine smile is called a Duchenne smile. It uses all the muscles in the face, including the “laughter lines” around your eyes.  (4)   If you are smiling on purpose to help lift your mood, you will notice some changes in your face.   (5)   You can see how it feels by holding a pencil horizontally between your teeth as you smile.